Redemption

Psalms 49:15
But God will redeem my life from the grave;
He will surely take me to Himself.
-Selah

I have waited so long to make this post. I already had it formed in my mind when I first started blogging almost a year ago. And now I have what can only be described as...what did another blogger call it??? Oh yeah blogstipation.

I think because this moment is so monumentally important and weighed down with so much significance, I don't think mere words can cover it. I think that's when most wise people say "well then don't say anything." I tried that and frankly I'm not one of those people. The words are in there bubbling around and I just needed the right frame of mind to express them. So I started with scripture, because I want to be clear that the events that transpired this past week were purely orchestrated by the loving power of the most High. And I love those times when joy overflows and the only way to properly express it is through scripture. If you have volume control and can tolerate my music I suggest you turn it up. I just want to take a moment to give thanks for what I will call an out right miracle (old testament style :).

This week, Monday October 19 we had our court date for baby Selah. On that day officially she would be ours. Let me just start by saying that day in and of itself is extremely significant and not just some random Monday. It is exactly one year ago, to the day, that Ryan and I went to the most awful and excruciating dr.'s appointment I think any parent can have. I had spent the weekend lying in bed attempting to save a pregnancy that was not save-able and on Monday morning we had the ultrasound that confirmed our baby was gone. If you have read any of my older posts you would know that from that day on God set to healing our hearts and for the past year He has been redeeming and redeeming that day with stunning clarity. It may well be that I have been searching for signs and wonders all my life. But I have to say, never before in my life have signs and wonders come searching for me. There are 365 days in a year, our day to officially have Selah join our family could have come on any other day. I'm sorry, but there isn't a person on this planet that can convince me that my Heavenly Father didn't already have this planned for me. That the minute I cried out for healing he didn't rush to cover my wounds. Satan tried to win back a few points by forcing our court date to be extended by one day...but sorry bubs this one goes to GOD. This day could have gone down in our history as "the day something bad happened in our family" now we'll call it "Miracle Monday".

Selah Sifen (Ethiopian Oromo word meaning: Me to you) Carson

our precious baby sister, welcome to our family.

Okay, A Little Sweat

So our case went to court and apparently some paperwork was missing. We are hoping that the issue will be resolved and we will have something to celebrate tomorrow. Keep posted, we will let you all know as soon as we find out. Thank you for your continued prayers. We know that despite each little challenge we face we will soon have our little Selah in our arms.

No Sweat!

Okay friends....this is it. Sometime Sunday night court will convene thousands of miles away and our daughters name is on the docket. At this time the only name she has is the one given to her by the people who found her. We will call her Selah, but she doesn't know that yet. Selah the little one year old and barely 13lb girl who loves to play, but can't yet crawl or speak. Selah who up until that day had been reliant upon the kindness of strangers to keep her alive. Selah whose great big beautiful eyes have seen a thousand unfamiliar faces. Selah who sleeps so peacefully, completely unaware of how dramatically her life is about to change. Because if all goes well in court that day she will no longer be just Selah. She will no longer be adrift in a sea of lost children. She will no longer need strangers to comfort her or plead her case. On that day she will become a Carson. A Carson of the Carson/Cleveland clan. And let me tell you, there is no better clan!! Even though she has yet to set foot on American soil, she already has a community of family and friends that will love and support her. She will have Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunts, Uncles, Great Aunts, Great Uncles, first second and third cousins, sisters and brothers...Mommy and Daddy. No they can never replace those she lost, but they will do everything they can to help her find her place in this world.

Am I nervous about Sunday night? Nervous is the wrong word. I am weak from anticipation. But I gotta say friends, He that has called you will be faithful. Never in my life have I found this as true as throughout this whole adoption process. It helps also to have sweet friends and family who are praying for you. He listens you know. So no, I guess I am not nervous when the God of the Universe is on your side passing through...anything...is no sweat.

(okay there's a little sweat, don't check my armpits.)

Then what you ask? THEN WE GO GET HER!!!!!

Seven

Can someone please tell me how this happens? How seven years pass so quickly. The twins are seven tomorrow. What can I say...they are spectacular! I simply can not believe they are mine. I couldn't believe it when the ultra-sound technician told me there were two babies on the screen, and I can't believe how special and wonderful those two babies are. They are growing into such beautiful little people. They are so filled with life and love. Aria is the kind of child you marvel at because she is so talented and beautiful. I sometimes just hold her and wonder how this sweet little "kitten" came into my life. She is everything a girl should be. She's very shy, but has a strong, sassy side that I love. She loves to make people laugh and is quite the comedian. Elijah is truly a young gentlemen. He has a heart of gold. He is so mild and gentle and kind. He is so handsome and very much the ladies man. He always thinks of others first and protects the feelings of those around him. He also has a wild party animal side that totally cracks me up.

I love you so much sweet babies. I know we have had our hard times. It wasn't always easy for this young mama to handle two little ones. I am so thankful for your loving and forgiving spirits. You astound and amaze me. I am the proudest Mom on the playground.

(so little :)