HOMESTUDY!!

We had our first homestudy visit yesterday. I felt so proud to hand over an almost completed info. packet to our social worker. We are only missing physicals for my husband and myself. Our dr. has pneumonia and had to reschedule our appointments (how dare he!). I am pleased at how easy this process has been so far. I know many trials and tribulations are yet to come, but as a person who seeks to avoid drama in her life at all cost, I have come prepared with gracious amounts of God given stoicism.

And I have been pregnant before. Actually three times before. Once with twins...had an uneventful yet extremely uncomfortable pregnancy but a great normal vaginal birth (full term). Once with Rowan...had a horrible pregnancy complete with rampant pre-partum depression and a scary last minute emergency c-section. Then in Oct. of this year I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. This was after discovering a deadly blood clot in my leg and learning I had a blood clotting disorder (factor 5 Leiden). I have been poked, prodded, sliced, stitched, medicated and cleaned out. I have had dr.'s appts. so scary and horrible I don't know how I made it through. I have questioned everything from my faith in medical science to my faith in God. And yet I have three amazing and beautiful and glorious babies and I would do it all again in a heartbeat for them. So what wouldn't I do for a tiny baby with no mommy and no chance at a life - that I could call my own? I would fill out endless paperwork and have a stranger inspect my home and personal life. I would travel across the world and visit a foreign country and face the prospect of scrutiny from people who just didn't understand. Easily, I could do this. I am strong, healthy and thankfully, I am not nauseous or depressed. I say, bring it on!

Someone once said that in a pic. she had seen of me I kind of looked like a bad ass (ok, not a great choice of words). But sometimes, secretly inside...I kinda hope that I am. hehehe